Escape Artist
by Wielder of paperclips
Summary: How can a person wreak havoc if he is bound, gagged, and literally thrown away in some random part of the school? Learn from the Master. Manabe–centric. Oneshot. Pity the school.


Formerly a part of an application I made for Manabe in furubarama (fruits basket RP forum). Hey, I got the part so this shouldn't be so bad. XD Had a heck of a time rewriting it, though.

For **Riyuji**, who knows how much fun it is to roleplay Manabe. XD Check out the prequel he wrote in"_The Misadventures of the Student Defense Corps_". (I am not worthy... XP)

_Disclaimer's note/s:_ Kakeru belongs to Takaya. The plot belongs to me, myself, and a dog called Tedward. Don't ask.

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Escape Artist**

Manabe Kakeru was bored. Two things usually happened when the Vice President of the Student Council was bored: (1) school-wide chaos, and (2) a rise in unusual happenings, such as a stampede of teachers wanting to kill him. And right before him was the golden opportunity of all golden opportunities.

The whole school was in the auditorium for some important announcement. All he had to do was grab the bucket of toads he'd seen in the lab, and throw its contents on the audience — perhaps Yuki's fan club (if they screamed at the sight of Yuki, then he held it in theory that they'd probably scream at a bunch of slimy amphibians as well). Then it would all be mass chaos and excitement, and bye-bye boredom for him. Simple, but effective.

There was one problem, though.

He sighed inwardly and glanced down. How could a person wreak havoc on the school if he was bound, gagged, and literally _thrown_ _away_ in some random part of the school?

_At least they didn't blindfold me,_ he thought, then grinned as his eyes fell on a hook lying on the floor, not at all far from his reach.

_At least they didn't tie me to a chair or something, either, _he added in an afterthought as he crawled up to the metal contraption, and pulled it towards him with his feet. With some Manabe ingenuity, he was able to get the hook latched onto the cloth tied around his mouth. He used his knees to catch the rope attached to the hook, and with a hard tug . . .

He cleared his throat. "Testing . . . Testing . . . This is the _Brilliant_ Manabe Kakeru at your service. What can I do for you on this fine day?"

Good. His voice still worked.

But there was still that little matter of his being bound all over.

Calling for help was out of the question; a quick scan of his surroundings indicated that he was entirely alone. There was a possibility that someone was nearby, but the chances of that somebody being someone who'd help him was pretty low. It was, after all, the school's teachers and staff who decided to put him there in the first place. And with the Student Council President's approval, no less.

"_It's for your own good,"_ Yuki had told him. Probably his way of getting back at the stunt his dark-haired subordinate had pulled during sports day (1). Kakeru grinned. _We'll see about that._

Muffled voices caught his attention. They were coming from behind the thick red curtain dangling a little way off from where he was sitting. It sounded like someone was making a lecture of some sort. He blinked as the voice was drowned out by applause, and a thought struck him.

He was backstage. He was in the auditorium.

He looked around and mentally hit himself, almost laughing out loud. So _that_ explains all the ropes and things he'd noticed earlier, but never bothered to think about! Perhaps he didn't need those toads after all.

He found himself straining to hear what the lecturer was talking about. Hm, new security measures, no doubt. Bo-ring.

He needed to get out of this situation right away, and deliver his beloved schoolmates from the painful torture that was a boring lecture. But ropes were not the only things that kept his arms firmly behind him, and his legs incapable of any movement other than hopping. He saw packaging tape, and chains, and locks without keys. He looked like a friggin' kidnap victim . . .

_Wait a sec . . . kidnap victim?_

A grin spread across his face as a new idea bloomed within his oh-so-happy mind.

He hopped towards the curtains that separated him from the rest of the student body, and paused. _I've always wanted to do this,_ he thought with glee as he waited for the perfect opportunity. Timing _was_ everything.

"—so as you can see, with all the new high tech alarm systems installed around here, there is no need to worry," the snooty, salesman-like voice of one members of the school staff came floating through the curtains.

Almost . . .

"We _believe_ in the safety of our students."

C'mon . . .

"So with this new equipment, we are now proud to announce that _our_ school is the safest place you can be."

NOW!

Kakeru charged through heavy, red curtain, shoving himself forward with all his might. "MURDER! MURDER! BLOODY MURDER!" (2) he yelled at the top of his lungs.

For a split second, he wondered if it would work, or if people would just stare at him as if he were stark raving mad. Then he realized that he had underestimated his fellow students' survival instincts.

Not to mention their bad auditory skills.

"Huh? That's MANABE-KUN!"

"He's all tied up like-like some friggin' KIDNAP VICTIM!"

"WHAT? The VP's been KIDNAPPED?"

"He said something about murder… SOMEONE'S BEEN MURDERED!"

"WAH! There's a KILLER ON THE LOOSE!"

"He got Manabe, and now he's AFTER US!"

"EVERYBODY, RUN!"

"LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!"

Many other inaudible cries arose from the mass of students and teachers trying to push their way out of the auditorium.

Kakeru surveyed the chaos with a bit of pride.

"That worked better than I thought!" He turned to the grey-headed boy who was sitting on one of the chairs on the stage, _staring_ at the tied-up student council member as if he had just seen a ghost – and grinned. "Aren't I brilliant?"

To his credit, Souma Yuki, President of the Student Council and superior officer of the troublemaker, recovered quickly. "I _knew_ they shouldn't have left you backstage," he groaned.

Kakeru shrugged. "What? It's not like I caused this, y'know," he said in what he thought was a sensible tone. "All I said was 'Murder! Murder! Bloody Murder!' and they all when up and away as if a group of madmen were on the loose."

"All you said?. . . _All you said?_" Yuki stood up and glowered at him. "You are the _Vice President_ of the _Student Council_. Don't you think that seeing such a highly respected member of the student body tied up like a prisoner would ignite something more than a disturbance in such a large gathering?"

"Uh…No?"

Yuki made a noise of frustation.

Kakeru grinned. If there was one thing Manabe Kakeru was good at, it was escaping. If there was something he was better at than anyone else, it was escaping the blame.

"Do you _always_ have to do something like this?" the Student Council president asked wearily.

His subordinate shrugged once more, indicating his current state. "Hey, I wasn't the one who tied me up in all this junk, y'know."

**END**

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(1) I am not referring to any incident in particular. Just something I made up. If anyone'd like to write a fic about it, then be my guest. 

(2) Words can be found in the book "Just Annoying." If you've read that book, then good for you! We have something to talk about!

This place needs more Nabe fics. XP


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